because there's a new sheriff in town...
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Color Code for today's blog:
Mavis
Handsome HusbandWords I am putting into MamaJJ's mouthThe handsome husband surprised me Christmas morning
with a genuine... real...complete with box... gift.
I say
surprised because...
1) It really WAS a surprise...
2) When he asked me if I wanted anything for Christmas I had told him...
"No...there was nothing I really wanted"... but he kept on asking...and then finally (I smartened up)...I told him..
. "Well, actually YES,... there is ONE thing I'd really like to have...""A gift card to P A N E R A..."(I dislike paying for restaurant food
immensely... BUT... if someone were to
gift me a meal at Panera...
Well, that is something else entirely)
But... before I go any further...
Not that I really need too....
because you already know how thrifty I am...
but...
just in case you had any doubts.....
this...is what I gave the handsome husband for Christmas this year....
A one year supply
of
lotion..
Umm... because....
1) Although we typically don't give each other gifts... this year... especially after the latest chicken incident... I wanted to offer him some sort of token of my appreciation for putting up with the likes of me...(and of course I wanted it to be useful)
2) Who (besides a cave man) doesn't like lotion?
3) I've had to listen to him complain (for the last month) that he was "out" of lotion... meaning...(in man vocabulary) there was actually
still lotion left in the bottle... he just had to OPEN the top of the bottle to get out said lotion to moisturize his sweet...handsome... Irish face...
4) By giving him an entire year supply of his very OWN lotion...
I wouldn't have to listen to him going off on any more 2 minute rants about how
"Normal people don't have to pull the top off the bottle to get their lotion out... because they buy new lotion...that comes out when you push down on the pump thingy...That's....what NORMAL PEOPLE do. Normal people don't have to stand around every morning trying to scavenge the last few drops of lotion from the bottom of the bottle because their wife is ultra cheap...."
Seriously?
Look at that...
I think he has
at least another week of lotion in there...
(FYI: This is
my new 1 year supply of lotion... gifted to me via Leopard Girl and my Mom)
and just in time... for I have also been pulling off the top of my lotion bottle lately as well...
So anyway... back to the story...
When the handsome husband handed me a (heavier than a gift card) cardboard box that had a bunch of electronic store mumbo jumbo on it... I looked at him suspiciously.... and immediately said...
"Wow... I had no idea the electronics store sold Panera Gift cards"... (I'm so ungrateful).
He smirked... and said
"OPEN IT"So I did...
and inside the cardboard box was a new (just for me) laptop...
"that's nice" I thought...
then he told me to flip open the screen...
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and then...
I found this waiting for me...
and I was thrilled to bits...
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Holy Crackers!!!
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And then...
I immediately thought of that MamaJJand how... the other day when the handsome husband read my blog (and he hardly ever reads the blog)
MamaJJ had left a comment about her Dad shooting a deer in his Fruit of the Loom underwear and then he asked me...
"Who's MamaJJ?"And so I told him...
"Oh she's this lady in Virginia who cracks me up... she hangs out at Panera at all hours writing her blog" "She can't possibly hang out there all the time... how long does it take to write a few words down anyway?"...Ummm... days... she's a grammar-a-holic... and she just doesn't write a few words... actually it's more like 20 paragraphs at a time"....
"What does her husband think about that?"...
"He's a guy... c'mon... as long as dinner is on the table and he has clean clothes... and yada yada yada... What does he care?"******
Don't you just love it when you find out that you were the topic
of someone else's dinner conversation?
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And anyway...
It seems like every other day she is twittering or blogging something
from her (reserved?) booth at Panera ...
taunting me with ...
"PANERA this... and PANERA that"...
"Ohh, I went to PANERA today and ordered a cafe mocha extra hot non fat triple shot vanilla skinny tall latte with extra whip and go heavy on the cinnamon sprinkles...'' or
"My wonderful Mr. Handsome just dropped me off at PANERA for an hour so I could write in peace and quiet... blah blah blah... isn't life just wonderful".... Basically what she is really saying is
"I'M AT PANERA... (
and you Little Miss Mavis are NOT)"*****
I don't know...
maybe I'm just jealous...
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Okay... so I
was jealous...
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BUT NOT ANYMORE!!!!!
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Bring it on SISTER!
YOU....
ARE....
GOING....
DOWN !!!
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And Mama JJ...
FYI: if you think this whole "Mavis Goes To Panera"
thing is a one time deal...
Ummm...
think again...
Because not only did I receive 1 gift card to Panera...
but I received
2 gift cards to Panera...(the second one was from my Father)
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So...see JJ... I can write a story with 20+ paragraphs in it too...
and you want to know why???
Huh??
Huh??
IT'S
BECAUSE
I'M
AT
*PANERA*Yep... that's me....
*AT PANERA******
...this has been Mavis...
blogging live...
from you guessed it...
PANERA!!
